Coaching Corner

 

The reason why financial stress hurts relationships is that each party feels that particular stress differently. Both people may know what the financial situation is but never talk about how it makes them feel daily.  Don't get me wrong but who would want to talk about financial problems often? Especially if these financial issues are a recurring problem in the relationship.  It's mentally and emotionally draining because in a lot of ways you're doing what you can to fix the issues. Now if the issue is a difference in spending habits then a lot of those things should have been worked out before marriage.  In marriage, a difference in spending habits could be harmful to the relationship because marriage is a team sport. What affects one party affects both parties. You connected in a lot of ways including your debts and liabilities. If you didn't take the time to have a adaptive plan for tackling your financial responsibilities in the beginning it's not too late to st

So the problem with losing your since of self is figuring out were to begin your journey of learning who you are now. Some people that have lost themselves would say I want to feel like the old me again. What you have to realize is there is no reversing time to go back to find the old you. Your best bet is to start getting to know the person you are right now in this moment. Now starting that process maybe difficult depending on what stage in life your in and if you have kids or not. Being in a relationship while trying to work on you also comes along with its set of challenges. To start the work of getting to know yourself is not just about accomplishing the task but also about enjoying the journey. Learning your likes, dislikes, loves, hates and learning how to set/keep boundaries. Now learning how to set boundaries is a whole neither conversation in it self because you not only have to set them, you must maintain them as well. Now from the first few lines of this blog you maybe ques

In relationships, you're position in your partner's life isn't guaranteed. Most times we would like to think that it is but the truth of the matter is that relationships success is based on your efforts. How consistently intentional you are at making the relationship growth a priority to you. How you create ways for new connections with each other daily, weekly or monthly. The issue with most relationships is we get comfortable with the person that we're with and sometimes that level comfort can be harmful to the relationship growth. It was author Brian Cagneey that said ," A comfort zone is the most dangerous area anyone can stay in. It is a place of no growth and no challenges." So when you get too comfortable with your partner, the consistent intention to building the friendship and relationship starts to fade. So the idea of being easily replaceable comes in to play because once you notice that you're partner isn't investing in you and the relatio

What's your why for wanting to get married? Is that why a good enough reason to start and grow your relationship? What is your strategy for maintaining the love and connection in your relationship? Can that strategy be evolved as life happens to your relationship? Is just because you love the person you're with the only reason you want to get married? If love is your primary reason and you some strong reservations about specific parts of your relationship,  than now is the time to get to work. Even the smallest of issues or concerns are valid when you're talking about building a lifetime together with someone. You have to decide whether the concerns are big enough to move forward or to stop. No one wants to tell the person that they love that, I don't think we are ready to be married. It takes alot of courage to stand up and say I truly want what's best for the both of us. That could mean not getting married right now or not getting married at all. I realize that is

In a committed relationship or marriage,  their is going to be a cost associated with your career. In this chase to get ahead of specific bills, saving for retirement, saving for vacations or just saving for a rainy day there is a cost. The fee is time spent away from your partner and your focus on the relationship. When a person has a demanding job or extreme financial responsibilities it gets increasingly difficult to focus on anything else but making money.  No one ever considers at what cost though. Not until you start noticing a difference within your relationship. At that point when you have noticed a difference is when action needs to be taken to correct the imbalance in the relationship. Now what tends to happen is sometimes no action is taken because we assume that the imbalance is not a big deal and will eventually work itself out. WRONG!!! These situations very rarely work themselves out and the two people start becoming more distant with emotional/physical connection. If yo