Coaching Corner

Sometimes when you're having issues in a relationship, do you ever consider that these issues are double sided?? What I mean by double sided is that sometimes the real issues are previous baggage that we have carried within ourselves that add to the current issues of the relationship. Those would be two separate situations to tackle at the same time. Most individuals don't consider how there own individual trauma or past life experiences can effect your future relationships.  Most individuals realize it when it becomes a problem in the current relationship. By then, most of the damage has been done. Some damage may be difficult to come back from. Relationships, in general, are not always easy or fun. Sometimes there has to be some self analysis to make sure you are doing right for yourself and by the relationship you chose to be in. It's not up to your partner to check you on your issues, most times. You have to want to check yourself to make sure that the situations that m

When you consider your dreams and goals for your life, do you consider if they are big enough? When you tell people about what you want to do for your life, some people are going to support you. Others in your life may question you about your dreams and tell you that you should not do it. Your dreams are what it sounds like, Your Dreams. It's not for other people to understand or support them. That's okay because the reason you dream is because you want something different or better for your life. Your dreams can be as big as your imagination can take you, but if your effort to reach your dream isn't present then all you really have is that, A Dream . Your passion, consistency, and faith must drive you daily towards your dreams because your dreams aren't going to magically come true for you. Your dreams can be as big as you want them to be, but be prepared to put in the work for those dreams to become your reality. Thank you, JDWILLIAMSCOACHINGANDCONSULTING LEARN MORE

Living your life intentionally is not an easy feat. You have to plan, focus, prioritize and sacrifice at times to achieve it. Living your life intentionally means that you are doing something everyday to get better and move forward in life. The problem with living your life with intention is life happens to you. When things or people in your path create road blocks to prevent you from moving forward, sometimes that can be demotivating. When you get demotivated, your focus is not on the plan you set. Your mind is on how you going to get started on your process again. Living your life intentionally is not saying things won't happen. It's saying that no matter what happens in your day, you are going to prioritize at least one step or task a day towards your goal. Live your life with intention and enjoy your journey. You will find that you are closer to your goal than you think. Thank you, JDWilliamsCoachingandConsulting LEARN MORE

In most relationships, you start off with a very strong connection and once the honeymoon stage leaves the real work starts. That, my friend, is were intentions come into playing for the person your with. Ask yourself if your daily acts show your partner that they are your priority? Ask yourself are you intentional about about your partner's needs, even if there has to be a compromise or further discussions. Are you intentional about your relationship daily? If you are, keep it up! If you're not, what's your plan to create solutions? Finding solutions, problem solving and teamwork are the building blocks of a strong relationship. Each party in the relationship needs to be heard by the other person to create lasting happiness. Making your relationship intentional starts with you and not your partner. Each party must do their part in the intentions of the relationship. So, when you ask yourself the question, "Do I make intentional decisions to grow the relationship daily

What does your daily routine look like? Does your routine add to the vision that you have for your life? Take a look at your routine or the things you do on a daily basis. Does it help you get to where you want to be for your life or does it hold you back? What you do daily and consistently has an effect on how soon you will reach your goals. If you notice there are a lot of people that talk about wanting more for themselves, but do their daily activities match there words? Achieving any dream or goal isn't easy. It takes time, patience, self discipline and consistency. No one is going to hand you your dreams and goals on a sliver plate. You have to work towards your goals daily in order to reach them. The biggest thing that people forget to do is to enjoy the journey along the way. The journey to achieving your goals is different for everyone, but no less exciting at times. My advice for you is to create a strong daily routine that can help you reach where you want to be in life a

When it comes to who empowers you to be the best version of yourself, who is your support team? In order to make the moves that you have to make in your life, you need a strong support team. Your support team is there to motivate you, encourage you, listen to you and aid you in your life. They offer you a positive note on your negative days. They offer you sunshine on your most cloudiest of days. Who your support team is adds to your emotional stability and allows you to focus better on your goals. When I talk about a team, you may think you need a group of people, but sometimes a team of one works too. Your support system doesn't need to have a set number, but does need to have support in mind.  Your environment and the people that you surrounded yourself with can have a big impact on your emotional state. So, when it comes to who is empowering you, evaluate your support team. Choose wisely and you will make the right decision! Thank you, JDWILLIAMSCOACHING Learn More             

How do you know when it is the end of the road in a relationship? Is it a feeling you get? Is it something someone tells you? Is it something you tell others? Is it something you continually tell yourself? Whatever form that comes in, you must be sure if that's the right decision for you. All relationships have conflict inside them. There is no 100% perfect relationship, that doesn't exist. You have to determine what you 100% need in the relationship and not just focus on wants. When you want something to be better, sometimes you can want it so bad that you miss what you really need. If two people decide that they want to make things better, it will get better. Being consistent is the way forward for progress to be made. Knowing how to determine if you are close to the end of the road is important. You have an opportunity to either turn around or cross that bridge. Either way, consider your choices, consider yourself, consider your overall feelings, take your accountability and

 Sometimes it may feel like you are speaking a different language when it comes to your partner understanding what you really are trying to say. You may shake your head at them and look at them funny because they are staring back at you with a confused look on their face. While you're just standing there wondering why you even said anything in the first place. The reason why you said something is that you want and need to have an open dialogue with your partner. Sometimes when we try to have those types of conversations, we never consider if this is the right time and place to have the conversation. Timing, believe it or not, is everything in communication if you want to get your true message across the communication lines. More misunderstanding happens when we try to force a conversation to happen instead of structuring the more important conversations. Don't get me wrong, some conversations can be had over the phone or even video but never have conversations in text messages.

One of the biggest myths is when you tell your partner you love then and that love is translated in the bedroom. Honestly, sometimes it doesn't translate 100% to your sex life. Harboring insecurities about yourself is one thing, but when  those insecurities effect your partner it's a completely different thing. Sex with your partner that you're  IN LOVE with, not just LOVE  ,is supposed to be a moment that you connect emotional/physically with your mind and body. Sometimes people are in their own minds about what's going on in the relationship or on the world. In that moment, they are not focusing all their attention on their partner. Sex typically happens in most relationships, but consider how often being made love to happens in your relationship. That's a different level of intimacy that takes your intimate relationship from good to great because the focus, in that moment, is totally about your partner's needs and not your own. Focusing more on c

Sometimes we have a very difficult time setting boundaries for ourselves and for others in our lives. Setting your personal boundaries is one thing, but sticking to the boundaries you set is something totally different. Learning to secure the boundaries you set for yourself and the people in your life has to be a priority for you. Your peace of mind, safety, and your way of life is important to you. When you feel that your emotional or physical boundaries have been crossed, it may cause you some unwelcome anxiety. If you tell the people in your life that they have to treat you a specific way, then its up to you to enforce your personal boundary. Sometimes people will test your boundaries intentionally or unintentionally to get a reaction from you. That's why it's important to know that you are in control of you and your boundaries. If people choose to break your boundaries, have the conversation with them and tell them that boundaries must be respected. If boundarie

In a relationship, it's easy to get spending time together and quality connection time confused. Just because you are around your partner or doing errands with them doesn't count as quality connection time. Quality Connection Time would involve you and your partner being in a space where you can be emotionally intimate with them. Emotional intimacy is when you're in a space with your partner and you both feel safe enough to express what's on your mind without fear of judgement. Most couples don't reach that level of intimacy because pride, ego, emotional maturity or your relationship priorities get in the way of maintaining that connection with your partner. Most couples start as friends, progress to partners then to lovers. To maintain those connections with your partner you need regular consistent maintenance just like you maintain your vehicle. Your partner wants and needs your attention on all levels to feel whole in the relationship. With this in mind, the next

In any relationship, a certain level of reciprocation is needed for the relationship to remain healthy and grow. Sometimes when we assume that the other person is going to show you the same love and affection that you show them, you've made your first mistake. The person that you're with is completely different from you and have different views on how to show love. The way that they may be showing love and affection may be the way they learned how to show love. The issue with how they show you love and affection is that their way may not be what you're use to. You may be showing them love and affection how you learned how to, but they may feel like you're not giving them love. This is because both parties have a different understanding of what love looks like to them and how it's shown. Some people would say that it could just their love language, but it's hard to determine a person's language if the lines of communication are broken. If two people c

When you begin your relationship with that special someone where does the friendship end and the relationship begin. Most couples start their relationship on the foundation of their friendship, but stop working on their friendship when they're in the relationship. In your relationship, there are a lot of roles that an individual has to fulfill in order to make the relationship work. Friend, Partner and Lover are some of these roles that have to be filled. Sometimes when you're trying too hard to fill one role, you miss the other two and your partner notices. Sometimes you may think that it is impossible to be everything to everybody, but all your partner wants is you. Making your relationship intentional by doing the things that make your partner happy and your relationship grow is a two way street. One individual can't support a relationship and one individual can't totally make you happy if you're not happy within yourself. When you started your relationship with

Being transparent about your past personal trauma is the hardest thing to do when you're in a relationship. Sometimes expressing your pain, anger, and anxiety is a scary thing to do. Trying to explain to your partner about what you experienced is the hardest thing to do because they may not understand. Talking about the things that you have lived through with anyone is eventually necessary in a relationship to form a true connection. The main reason why some people may find talking about past trauma difficult to do is because sometimes people are not offering a safe space to be open about past hurt. Sometimes people use that information against you or want to judge you on what happened. Sometimes people are not as empathetic to their partner's as they need to be and that is a mistake. It can cause lots of miscommunications, lack of trust, and a loss of emotional connection with your partner. It is important for your relationship growth to know the person your with inside and ou

From a relationship standpoint, wanting things your way all the time is not a good idea. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on reciprocation. It is important for both parties to have a voice in the relationship. I'd like to think the main reason why individuals continue to want things their way in a relationship is because they're being selfish. Sometimes that may not be the only reason because sometimes people believe that if their partner isn't giving, they don't have to either. The reality of the situation is that it is almost impossible to have a Burger King mindset in a healthy and productive relationship. Both parties needs have to be met by the other person to feel validated in the relationship. Both parties have to be on the same page about the needs of the relationship and not the wants for themselves. So, when you find yourself standing in line of your relationship with that Burger King mindset, remind yourself that you have to be able to handle

When you're stuck in the past mentally, it's really hard to plan a future for yourself. The past hurt, resentment, and anger just has a hold on your life. You feel stuck in the moments of the memories and triggers of your past that caused you pain. What you don't realize is that those emotions are what is preventing you from moving on in your life and relationship. Anytime you are in a situation where it reminds you of your past, those emotions are there waiting on you. You can't escape the haunting emotions of distrust, self- blame, and self - doubt. Those emotions have you locked in the cell of your mind and are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Well today is the official start of moving day for those thoughts and emotions. It's time to pack up your boxes of past hurt, pain, and resentment from past situations. Start putting your boxes of past emotions in the truck and label it Ship To Progress . It's time to no longer live in the emotions that

In order to go from good to great at something in life you have to be consistent. Sometimes being consistent is not as easy as one may think even when you are motivated. Even when your thinking that you just wanting to be good at something, it is sometimes a struggle because of the things that happen in life. That's part of your path to your greatness is the challenges that you will encounter in life. When you have that vision or goal for you life and you set out to achieve it, that is your first step. The steps you take after that step is where you start building up your perseverance and consistency for the task ahead. The road from being good at something, to being great at it is a challenging but rewarding road. Sometimes you will start the journey alone but it is important to build your a support team. The support team will be a few people in your life who can offer you that consistent positive energy and motivation. They will be the people you go to for mental support when tim

 When your communication is off in your relationship, who do you call? Do you call your partner? Do you call your family? Do you call your friends? Ask yourself that question. Who do you call when the communication lines are down in your relationship? I can tell you the best people to call are trained professionals that can help you repair the lines. Those storm clouds come hard and fast sometimes in relationships when it comes to how you communicate with your partner. If you're not paying attention, your communication lights can go out and your partner starts listening to reply, instead of listening to understand you. The first people you turn to when the lines are down is sometimes critical to how fast your communication lights come back on. If you turn to the wrong people, your power will stay out longer because not everyone can offer an unbiased opinion on how to repair the lines. The thing about most communication issues is that both parties want to be heard by the other perso

Knowing that you are worthy of respect, honesty, loyalty and love is critical to the self love process. Sometimes we forget to give these things to ourselves and rely on others to provide this to us. That can be a painful mistake because in order to truly feel loved, you must love yourself first. You must know that you are worthy of great things in your life and not tolerate anything that could be negative to your well being. You have to make an effort to demand these things for your own life before you allow someone else in. The hardest thing to do is to try to find yourself after losing yourself in a relationship. Sometimes it's just easier to work on you before you get serious with someone. Whatever route you take for your life, remember you are worthy of respect, loyalty, honesty and love. Be committed to loving yourself so that love can find you. Thank you, JDWILLIAMSCOACHING Learn More

To love your partner selflessly is a mindset. To love your partner selflessly doesn't mean lose yourself in your partner. It mean making sure that the decisions you make for your life are not effecting your partner in a negative way. It means making sure that there needs are being met and if they can't be, offering a solution to the problem. Selfless Love is treating your partner with respect, being loyal, and being honest with them. Selfless Love is realistic love. That means that what you are requesting from your partner can be provided to you without stress. Selfless Love sounds like it would be easy if you love someone, but it's not always that simple. It's hard to be selfless when you're mad at the other person, but that is the best time to be selfless. Issues happen all the time in relationships, but don't let issues cause a divide in your partnership. Selfless Love is possible, but only if you work on yourself daily. Selfless Love has less to do with your

Living a blameless life is a challenge to do because a lot of us do hold on to blame from our past. Self Blame from situations that have happened in our lives hunt you like a bad dream. Sometimes it can mess with your confidence and decision making for your present life. It's important to know that in life you can only control a small amount of these that happen on a daily basis. The rest of the uncontrollable things you just need to pray about. To live a blameless life you must learn to forgive yourself for the things you could not control. Sometimes that's other people, family or the world that causes you to blame yourself from the past. If you really think about it, how much of those things can you really control. My guess, none of them very well. Do yourself a a favor and let yourself off the hook for the things that happen that are out of your control. That's not saying that the blame is going to go away over night, but forgiving yourself is a start. The rest is going

No one ever said that changing your life was going to easy or fun. We you have this idea that you want to do more with your life, that's just the idea. How do you get there is the next question? The first step is making sure within yourself that this idea is truly what you want to do. If it is, then you need to hold on to that motivation because you're going to need it. The reason why most ideas, goals, and dreams don't turn into success stories is because the road to reach them gets too hard. Challenges start happening and you start letting the fear of the unknown inside your thoughts. It's okay to feel whatever this emotions are, but Don't Quit. You must tell yourself why you started down that path and remind yourself why you want it so bad. There are going to be days where you don't want to work on your change, but push yourself anyway. Remember the change you want to make for your life is for the betterment of your life. You have to believe in yourself even

Being emotional naked is very hard to achieve for most people because it requires you to open up about details of your life that few people know about.  Being emotional naked with close family, friends, or partner is a scary thing to do because of the fear of the unknown. You don't know what the person is going to say or feel when they hear your truth. The last thing you want is to be judged by the person for what you tell them. You just simply want them to be a safe place to talk to about the fears, anxiety and emotional rollercoaster you may feel. Forming any real close relationship with anyone is hard to do because that means that you will eventually have to trust them with a piece of who you are on the inside. Most times there is no guarantee that a person will not react in some form, but that is okay. That's human nature to react to something that you didn't know about someone. The key for the listener is if you love and care about this person who is telling you this i

Finding the love that you want may not be as easy as you think because you have to first discover what you want that love to look like. Telling a potential mate how to love you is important for achieving your relationship success. Assumptions about what a person wants or needs leaves too much room for things to go wrong in your relationship. Knowing that you want to be respected, have loyalty and want honesty is important for an potential mate to know. These are the type of conversations that need to be had at the beginning of any relationship because you want a strong foundation of receprication. The love that you want is not going to be the same for everyone you come in contact with. Sometimes you have to break it down to the person that your with in the beginning to give them a fair chance to see if they can provide that for you. If they can't provide you with that type of love, be honest enough not to continue the relationship because you will only damage the other person's

Sometimes holding yourself accountable for your actions or inactions is a lot harder to do than holding someone else accountable. Taking the time to reflect on your own actions in life is a sign of emotional maturity and individual growth. When you refuse to see how your own actions can cause harm to your growth as a person, it can subsequently effect other aspects of your life. Do you notice those individuals in your life that talk to you all the time about changing something or wanting to be better. If you do know those individuals, ask yourself this simple question. Are they holding themselves accountable to change or grow? Is that thing they talk about just talk with no action. Relate that same question to your own life and ask yourself are you holding yourself accountable for your actions or inactions? If you're honestly not taking some steps for growth and simply just talking about it, than you don't want to change yet. Fear of change and the fear of unknown can stop your

Some would say 2020 came with a lot of challenges to say the least, but 2020 also came with some opportunities. Life is sometimes based on the perspective you view it in and when things happen that are negative, sometimes we stop. 2020 for most people was not the best year by far, but that doesn't mean that your life stops moving forward. It's important when you have goals for yourself to look at challenges as an opportunity to do something different to achieve your goals. What I mean by that is to develop an adaptive mindset for your life. With this type of mindset, the challenges that you will face will only add to your motivation to do more. You have the power within yourself to achieve whatever you want to, but life isn't going to make things easy for you. Only you know if your goal is worth the challenges you'll face to achieve them. Adapt your mindset to push for your goals and eventually you will see the results of your hard work. Thank you, JDWILLIAMSCOACHINGAND

When you think of a black card, you may think that having a black card is a symbol of status or wealth. In most cases, this is a correct assumption, but having a relationship black card is equally as valuable in your relationship. It will provide you with unlimited access to you partner's heart and their most vulnerable feelings. Having this type of card in your relationship, builds your relationship's wealth and improves your standing with your partner daily. The catch to owning a relationship black card is that, like anything else in life, it's not Free. You have to work everyday to increase your balance of love, respect, and validation for each other. Everyone in a relationship wants to feel heard, seen, and appreciated for what they do for the other person. Make sure you invest in your relationship black card as soon as you can, so you can continue to upgrade your partner's life.  Thank you JDWILLIAMSCOACHING Learn More

What is the level of your honesty when it comes to your relationship and marriage?? Are you truly being honest with yourself and the people around you?? Sometimes we convince ourselves we are because you don't want to hurt someone else. Not telling a person how you truly feel can potentially hurt them more than not saying anything at all. Relationships and Marriages have to exist on a foundation of honesty, respect and loyalty. This is not to say that if you don't tell a person something difficult in a relationship means you are being dishonest, but if the other person truly 100% cares about you, they want to know. If you really think about it, if you can't talk to the person you're with for a large part of your life, who can you really talk too?? If two individuals are committed to each other in a relationship, you would like for that person to be your safe place for information. A place where you can talk, cry, laugh, yell, but hopefully not all of those at the same t

When person is naturally gifted at a lost of things, a person could get to a point where they feel like they don't have to try very hard to achieve goals. The problem with naturally is that at some point what was easy can become more difficult. Life in general has a way of testing your resolve and you have to make a decision if you're going to achieve that goal or not. So that's where natural talent plus pure skill comes in to play. If you want to achieve your goals in life, you have to rely on more than natural talent. You have to develop your pure skill to match your talent. These two combined will get you started, then you add determination, being consistent and you're on your way to success. The road to achieving any goal in life is not going to be easy,but you do have to decide if your goal is worth the additional hard work. Once you have decided, start your goal and don't look back. Remember, being naturally talented is enough to get there sometimes, but to st