Coaching Corner

One of the biggest myths is when you tell your partner you love then and that love is translated in the bedroom. Honestly, sometimes it doesn't translate 100% to your sex life. Harboring insecurities about yourself is one thing, but when  those insecurities effect your partner it's a completely different thing. Sex with your partner that you're  IN LOVE with, not just LOVE  ,is supposed to be a moment that you connect emotional/physically with your mind and body. Sometimes people are in their own minds about what's going on in the relationship or on the world. In that moment, they are not focusing all their attention on their partner. Sex typically happens in most relationships, but consider how often being made love to happens in your relationship. That's a different level of intimacy that takes your intimate relationship from good to great because the focus, in that moment, is totally about your partner's needs and not your own. Focusing more on c...

Sometimes we have a very difficult time setting boundaries for ourselves and for others in our lives. Setting your personal boundaries is one thing, but sticking to the boundaries you set is something totally different. Learning to secure the boundaries you set for yourself and the people in your life has to be a priority for you. Your peace of mind, safety, and your way of life is important to you. When you feel that your emotional or physical boundaries have been crossed, it may cause you some unwelcome anxiety. If you tell the people in your life that they have to treat you a specific way, then its up to you to enforce your personal boundary. Sometimes people will test your boundaries intentionally or unintentionally to get a reaction from you. That's why it's important to know that you are in control of you and your boundaries. If people choose to break your boundaries, have the conversation with them and tell them that boundaries must be respected. If boundarie...

In a relationship, it's easy to get spending time together and quality connection time confused. Just because you are around your partner or doing errands with them doesn't count as quality connection time. Quality Connection Time would involve you and your partner being in a space where you can be emotionally intimate with them. Emotional intimacy is when you're in a space with your partner and you both feel safe enough to express what's on your mind without fear of judgement. Most couples don't reach that level of intimacy because pride, ego, emotional maturity or your relationship priorities get in the way of maintaining that connection with your partner. Most couples start as friends, progress to partners then to lovers. To maintain those connections with your partner you need regular consistent maintenance just like you maintain your vehicle. Your partner wants and needs your attention on all levels to feel whole in the relationship. With this in mind, the next...

In any relationship, a certain level of reciprocation is needed for the relationship to remain healthy and grow. Sometimes when we assume that the other person is going to show you the same love and affection that you show them, you've made your first mistake. The person that you're with is completely different from you and have different views on how to show love. The way that they may be showing love and affection may be the way they learned how to show love. The issue with how they show you love and affection is that their way may not be what you're use to. You may be showing them love and affection how you learned how to, but they may feel like you're not giving them love. This is because both parties have a different understanding of what love looks like to them and how it's shown. Some people would say that it could just their love language, but it's hard to determine a person's language if the lines of communication are broken. If two people c...

When you begin your relationship with that special someone where does the friendship end and the relationship begin. Most couples start their relationship on the foundation of their friendship, but stop working on their friendship when they're in the relationship. In your relationship, there are a lot of roles that an individual has to fulfill in order to make the relationship work. Friend, Partner and Lover are some of these roles that have to be filled. Sometimes when you're trying too hard to fill one role, you miss the other two and your partner notices. Sometimes you may think that it is impossible to be everything to everybody, but all your partner wants is you. Making your relationship intentional by doing the things that make your partner happy and your relationship grow is a two way street. One individual can't support a relationship and one individual can't totally make you happy if you're not happy within yourself. When you started your relationship with ...

Being transparent about your past personal trauma is the hardest thing to do when you're in a relationship. Sometimes expressing your pain, anger, and anxiety is a scary thing to do. Trying to explain to your partner about what you experienced is the hardest thing to do because they may not understand. Talking about the things that you have lived through with anyone is eventually necessary in a relationship to form a true connection. The main reason why some people may find talking about past trauma difficult to do is because sometimes people are not offering a safe space to be open about past hurt. Sometimes people use that information against you or want to judge you on what happened. Sometimes people are not as empathetic to their partner's as they need to be and that is a mistake. It can cause lots of miscommunications, lack of trust, and a loss of emotional connection with your partner. It is important for your relationship growth to know the person your with inside and ou...

From a relationship standpoint, wanting things your way all the time is not a good idea. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on reciprocation. It is important for both parties to have a voice in the relationship. I'd like to think the main reason why individuals continue to want things their way in a relationship is because they're being selfish. Sometimes that may not be the only reason because sometimes people believe that if their partner isn't giving, they don't have to either. The reality of the situation is that it is almost impossible to have a Burger King mindset in a healthy and productive relationship. Both parties needs have to be met by the other person to feel validated in the relationship. Both parties have to be on the same page about the needs of the relationship and not the wants for themselves. So, when you find yourself standing in line of your relationship with that Burger King mindset, remind yourself that you have to be able to handle...